The Lonely Rose: The Birth of A Writer *Edited, 2022*

It was my second grade year at Banyan Elementary School. I still live nearby and every time I drive past the faded-yellow single story building, the little blondish semi-see-through hairs on my arms stand up to catch a glimpse of the squared schoolyard symmetrically studded with perfectly puffy trees just like the ones we used…

Twenty-twenty-two-days-in-and-I’m-DONE

"...FIIIIIVEEEE!!!! FOURRRRR!!!! THREEEEEE!!!! TWOOOOOOOOO... WHATTTTTT THE FUUUUU......!!!!!!!????" Happy New… whatfuckineverrrr!!! Call me Candid Candace but, what a load of bullshit. By far, the imposturous arrival of 2022 was the most uncomfortably boring and just straight up awkward event of my life. If anyone is out there reading, am I alone here, can you please stand…

Free Fallin’

It’s not even worth having a discussion about anymore. We all know 2020 has been one of those fucking nightmares- you know the one- the one where you’re suddenly falling from some immeasurable height (Though you’re never really sure how you fell… like did you trip over a rock at the edge of a cliff…

Choosing Tomorrow

So what? Yea, I have a bit of a reputation when it comes down to the shameless oversharing of deep, sensitivity-stabbing, personal vomit. What can I say…I’m a messy woman, in every sense of the expression. Like I own this 3.5 foot tall purple laundry basket that sprouted from the deepest, darkest, angriest corners of…

This is NOT a Pandemic Mini-Rant. I Swear.

I haven't typed a single word since the end of October. October. Whoa. An entire 6  months. If you didn't know my semi-bipolar ass any better, or should you not follow me on social media, you'd wonder if (judging by the content of my last post) well, you'd wonder if maybe I... never did find my…

Tunnels.

I realize that a public blog isn't meant in any way shape or form to be used as a personal diary fully equipped with dark secrets, fugitive skeletons that have somehow escaped their closets, nor any generally profound depressing bullshit. I get it. Not a single fucking person on this planet wants to read TMI…

Wrecking Ball

There's this wall. This brick wall. It's like, as tall/long/wide whatever as that wall in China. Look Susan, I am NOT turning to google to fact-check whether that wall still exists but I can only imagine it must because that shit would take forever to knock down and then another 67 forevers to clean up…

Things.

I buy all of the things. The little things. The big things. The pricey things. The cheap things. The glittery things. The pink things. The inspirational-quote things. The sometimes useless things. The this-one-thing-will-transform-my-bad-day-into-a-good-day things. The this-thing-will-help-me-organize-my-disaster-of-a-life things. The I-work-hard-and-I-deserve-this things. The oh-just-one-more-wouldn't-hurt things. The I'll-need-this-someday-soon things. Out of shame of raised eyebrows and "oh well,…

The Little Worker Bee That Could

Have you ever felt...trapped? Trapped by yourself, trapped by others, trapped by your circumstances, trapped by your fears and your inhibitions, trapped by nothing that you didn't create for yourself to begin with? I feel fucking trapped. And I can finally at least say it or write it "out loud" without giving a damn about…

Carousel of Fuckeries

I'm alive. I'm not quitting my blog. Ok that's all the explanation I'll be gifting everyone about my absence. And now, without further ado ladies and gents.... a throwback of last months' seemingly endless fuckeries. Last month, there was a portion of my so-called life that lasted about 2 weeks or so that can be…

Words

I have words to say. But I don't know where they've gone. or why they refuse to come out and play. Perhaps they've managed to flee my mind- Crossed the borders of my brain and sought asylum on a warm, sane island. Or Perhaps they're just in hiding. Or Perhaps they have united in protest…