In Which I Layer Rants On Rants To Make A Rantwich and Then Sprinkle it With A Dash of Rant and Add a Side Of Ranting.

 

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Dude. This chick even rants in her post titles… Gee-zus!

 

If I had a penny for every single time I’ve whispered “what the FUCK” to myself by the end of any day- I’d be rich. I’d be able to pay off my credit cards. I’d be able to half-ass-afford my own Starbucks addiction without willingly overdrawing my bank account-I don’t think you’ve been able to grasp the “realness” of my caffeine struggles guys. 

Continue reading “In Which I Layer Rants On Rants To Make A Rantwich and Then Sprinkle it With A Dash of Rant and Add a Side Of Ranting.”

10 Things I Hate About You (An Ode to Walmart)

I hate how no matter the time or day
your parking lots are overcrowded;
And by the time I find a space
from my scalp, 4 new grey hairs have sprouted.

Continue reading “10 Things I Hate About You (An Ode to Walmart)”

WeekEND

If there were a way to capture a screenshot of what’s happening inside of my fucking head right now, I’m positive it would be immediately flagged as inappropriate content and banned by whoever those prick-people are who have actual jobs judging what gets banned from social media. It would look like a fucking battlefield-except there would be no bodies nor blood-only wounded thoughts: some shattered into millions of fragments, desperately dragging their amputated, decapitated bodies in every direction-never to make any sense; some held captive as prisoners in shackles by the enemy- Denial; some are innocent children-abandoned, confused, and seeking purpose; some are cowards-hiding from their own shadows…too terrified of what would happen to them if they stood up for themselves.  A brutally poetic setting, I can assure you.

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25 Thoughts and Things and Stuff 

Ok ok ok. I’ve told a little white fib. It’s going to be more like 50 things. But I wouldn’t have dared smuggle “50” anything into the title because such a choice would have doomed this post the *Rue of the Blogger Games. And we all know the odds were not in her favor. 

Continue reading “25 Thoughts and Things and Stuff “

To Every Stella Out There Right Now.

Your first thought: Who is this “Stella” and I mean..how many of them are there? Hmm…’cause I know zero Stellas except that one chick from the movie with the badass braids and muscle for days!

Continue reading “To Every Stella Out There Right Now.”

In Which I Rant SO Incessantly That I’m Not EVEN SURE How to Title, Categorize, or Tag The Rant.

You know that one time when I was all like  “Fuck you Universe and your lemons because I’m a boss and if I want apples then you best buh-lieve I’m getting some juicy apples bitch”?

Who even ARE you Elizabeth?! 

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Continue reading “In Which I Rant SO Incessantly That I’m Not EVEN SURE How to Title, Categorize, or Tag The Rant.”